FROM THE DESK OF
DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.
AND
ASSOCIATE WRYE
BALDERDASH
Greetings,
“I
saw Daffodils!” announces Tattle as she plops into her office chair. “Now, I truly feel that spring is here.”
Wrye
looks up from his tablet with his glasses trembling on the tip of his nose and
a jelly-filled donut ready to be devoured.
“Knock, knock!”
Well-acquainted
with his jokester personality, she automatically responds, “Who’s there?”
“Spring.”
“Spring
who?”
“It
is time to spring into our Love of Literature Leap interviews!”
“All-righty! Bring the donuts.”
Just
outside Naomi Stone’s door, Tattle asks, “So what do we know about Naomi Stone.”
Wrye
lifts a bushy brow, “You mean you don’t know? She is the author of many CBG
books, including The Team Guardian
Adventures." He pulls out his
tablet, performs a few keystrokes and looks at her website and quotes, "In
a near future world, probability bombs have imbued hundreds of people with
special powers. Not all of these people are law-abiding citizens. Team Guardian
uses their powers to police the miscreants."
"I knew that," Tattle says smugly.
"Then why did you ask?"
"Just to make certain you knew."
Groaning, he raps on Naomi's door, whispering before she
answers, "I really like her work.
We must remember to review some of her books."
Before Tattle can respond, the author's imaginary husband
opens the door, unleashing the caterwauling of a cat. The semi-transparent apparition ushers the
duo inside as they greet a very surprised Naomi.
W: “Donuts?” Wrye
hands her the assortment.
N: “Ooo. Is that a Bismark? Yum.”
T: “We apologize for coming unannounced but at our mature
age, we oft forget to do so. As Günter Grass wrote, ‘Memory likes to play
hide-and-seek, to crawl away.’”
W: Frowns and whispers, “I thought you said you arranged
this interview months ago.”
T: Flutters her hand as if chasing away the pesty
question. “Um, can't remember. As Günter
Grass wrote, “’Memory likes to play hide-and-seek, to crawl away.’ Now, dear
Naomi, are your ready for your interview?”
N: "If you don't mind my being in jammies or the
state of general chaos.”
T: Looks down at her own Minnie Mouse slippers. “Don’t
mind at all.”
N: “I can put on some tea or coffee if you like? Donuts
call for liquid refreshment.” Naomi steps into the tiny kitchenette and puts a
kettle on.
When Naomi returns, all settle into sitting across from
each other.
T: Smiling
happily, Tattle scoops up a furry feline and rubs behind its ear. We see you are a cat person, if you could be
a cat, which breed would you be and what would your daily routine be like? Would you still write? If so, what?
N: “I think I'd be
one of the advanced-evolution cats from Jim Butcher's new Citadel Spires series
- they have vestigial thumbs, and I'd probably still be able to manage a
keyboard. I'm very determined that way.”
W: “Hmmm,
interesting response. What a grand cat
to become. I think that would be my choice as well. So, what is your biggest
fear? Spiders? Snakes? Harpsichords? A day without chocolate?”
N: "My
biggest fear is people who want to know my biggest fears so that the knowledge
can be used against me... I mean, snakes. They’re sleek, I mean slimy skins
just give me the shudders..."
T: Winks at the
not-quite-there hubby, "Ah, Naomi, he is a cutie. You are one lucky lady.
Is he normally this quiet? Oh and is he
the inspiration behind any of your books?”
N: “The best quality of an imaginary husband is that he
only talks to me when I'm paying attention. Of course, then we argue incessantly.
My imagination has the perversity of disagreeing with me constantly - and yes,
he's very inspirational. I've always had a thing for imaginary characters. My
first crush was on Rocky the Flying Squirrel, when I was in grade school. I
daydreamed of adventures with Batman and Robin and the crew of the Starship
Enterprise, and became a vegetarian for a couple years because of my feelings
for Kwai Chang Caine of the Kung Fu series. One of the most powerful qualities
of fiction is the way imaginary characters and situations can move us to
experience very real feelings.”
W: Nods in agreement and appreciation of her
introspective response. He walks around,
peeking at her fantasy book collection, noting her obsession with bookmarks,
and finally asks, "Anywho, you have an interesting outlook on the
world. Would you consider yourself an
arm-chair adventurer or get-out-there and mow-m-down and watch my smoke sort of
writer?"
N: “That's the kettle! Coffee or Tea?”
T: Eyes wide, looks at Wrye. "What sort of question is that? Explain
ye-self, m'abstract minded bud in literature." Then to Naomi, “he is
coffee and I am tea, thank you.”
W: "Ummm, in other words, are your exploits through
your stories or are any of those stories based on real life adventure?"
N: “Considering
that my characters include super heroes and a magical djinni, I have to confess
that the real-life inspiration is entirely in their emotional/psychological
lives. That's what fiction is all about, right? The events may all be
imaginary, but the feelings they inspire are real, and they
allow us to experience vicarious adventures that may be
beyond us physically. How cool is it that we can relax at home while at the
same time climbing Mount Doom with Sam and Frodo, or running through the jungle
with Mowgli and Bagheera?”
T: Smiles, resembling that remark. "If you could
have any supernatural or superhero power, what would it be and why?”
N: “I recently lost my younger brother David to multiple
myeloma - bone cancer. He spent the last several years trying numerous
therapies including stem-cell replacement and debilitating chemo. At this point
I can't think of a better superpower than that of a healing touch. There's so
much need. We need armies of healers. We need to look at our society, all the contributing
toxins and pollutants that are factors threatening the health of our people. A
super power in a story is a substitute for a solution to real life problems. We
can dream about the super powers, but the real heroes are those with the
technical and scientific skills to find remedies to the diseases and ways to
cleanse us and the environment of the toxins.”
T: “I am so sorry for your loss. Death truly rearranges
our outlook on life.”
W: “And that outlook gives depth to writing. I, too, am
very sorry, my condolences to you and yours.
They share a moment of respectful silence.
W: "Of all the characters you have written, who
would you like to be and why?"
N: “I'd love to spend some time in the shoes of Amelia
Swenson, the heroine of 'Spirited,' with her djinni lover - and growing magical
abilities of her own. Of course, that would carry with it the responsibility of
using those powers to do as much good as possible in the world. I'm afraid I
wouldn't have much time for my writing in that case...”
T: "Please tell us what books you wrote with CBG and
a one-liner about them?"
N: “'Spirited' is my full-length novel, in which Amelia
unwittingly frees both a djinni and a dangerous succubus demon and enlists the
djinni's aid in saving the world from the demon.
In a near future world where many people have super
powers, Team Guardian works to police the bad eggs among them. 'Team Guardian'
collects the three novellas below:
~In 'Sweet Mercy' a reverse-empath, Rachel Connolly meets
her hero, Fluke, a man with amazing luck and they work together to stop a
Puppet Master.
~In 'Safe Haven' Rachel's brother David meets his match
in Beth Talbot, a psychometrist as they work together to stop a super-powered
hacker from taking over the world's banking systems.
~In 'Shining Hope' illusionist Sophia Alvarez works with
the team and teleporter Tom Stanton to stop a vigilante going after sexual
predators. A date-rape experience in her past leaves her with conflicted
feelings about the mission.
W: "Wow! They all sound fabulous. They will definitely be on our TBR list.
Naomi, we both agree it has been a pleasure to interview you." Heads toward the door and is about to leave
when he glares at Tattle. "Put the cat down. It is not yours."
T: Pouts!
N: Thanks so much for stopping by!
T: (Whispers) “Should I salute? I mean, after all,
she served seven years of active duty and earned three meritorious awards.”
W: “We will treat her like any other author with
respect, courtesy, and quirky questions.”
T: “Our questions are not quirky… just seriously bent.”
Suddenly looks horrified. “We forgot the donuts!”
Just then Colleen
S. Meyers appears at her door, and
Wrye offers her a pack of gum. “Er, hi, we’re Penza Dona Tattle and
Associate Wrye Balderdash and we’re here for your CBG interview.” Does a tap
dance “Ta Da!”
C: Colleen grabs the pack of gum. “Doublemint. My
favorite.” She walks further into the room and sits across from Wyre and
Tattle. “Thanks for having me.”
T: “A little
birdie told us you have been a Harlequin fan from way back, but you are also a
sci-fi aficionado. Hence, we observe possibly the reason of your mixture
of the two genres in your writing. With that in mind, what space creature
from any fantasy or sci-fi world would make your swoon?”
C: “Oh well, swoon. I don’t know about swooning, but I
know my favorite authors when I was growing up was David Eddings. His Belgariad
series was exceptional. I loved the mixture of fantasy, romance, and humor that
characterized his writing. I remember thinking, “I want to write like
that. One day, maybe I will be able to do that.”
W: “Considering your military background and medical
career, you appear to be a logical, focused individual, but do you have an
eclectic side? If so, on a scale from one to ten, how eclectic?
Ten being, you are living on the planet Ramura – Homeworld of the Ramurian
species or one being you occasionally wear different colored socks.”
C: “Hmm, well in real life, I am probably a 2, very
boring. I deal with people being ill on a daily basis and that can be rough. I
want to help them and sometimes I am not able to do that. Thus why I love
anything fantasy, be it sci-fi, paranormal, magical realism, or urban fantasy.
And in my fantasies, the hero can always help someone, save the day, right the
wrong. So in my head, I am totally a 9 or a 10, Supergirl.”
T: “So, tell us, confidentially, we won’t squeal to
anyone but our errrr readership, are you secretly in love with the hero of MUST
REMEMBER, Marin. And just what would be your perfect date experience with
him or would you prefer a Bajoran?”
C: “Oh my god, Marin is like my ideal man. Not perfect,
but devoted and loving. That is all you need. As for an ideal date night.
Time alone would be good.” Colleen winks.
W: “How much of you is part of your character
Elizabeth ‘Beta’ Camden?”
C: “I think I put a little bit of myself in every
heroine. Life is our greatest teacher and inspiration.”
T: “Since you’re a doc, and well Doctor Who is a doc, do
you find any similarities in your outlook on the universe?”
C: “Ha! I haven’t really watched too much Doctor Who. I
am a Star Trek/Star Wars kinda gal, so I don’t know the answer to that? Do you
think I have the same outlook?”
W: “Upon meeting you, I’d say the humor of Doctor McCoy
and the togetherness of Doctor Crusher.
Anywho, what universe would you prefer to live in, Star Trek, Star Wars,
or Galaxy Quest and why?”
C: “Can I pick a fourth option? Firefly, for the
humor, for the reality and world building. I have a crush on Joss Whedon.”
T: “Ooooh, I think I cast my vote for that universe,
too. Who doesn’t have a crush on Joss
Wheldon?”
T/W: All our joking aside, after pursuing
your website, we have discovered you’ve been through tragedy, heroism and
heart-tugging romance, you are an amazing woman and it has been our honor to
interview you. Kudos, on your amazing strength and your upbeat attitude.
Off they go on another interviewing
venture. This time with Celia Breslin, urban fantasy and
paranormal romance author of such books as DESTINY
and HAVEN to name a few.
Tattle gulps. “You sure there aren’t any vampires around here?”
Wrye does the eye lift to heaven look. “You know those things
don’t exist. We live in a world devoid of that kind of magic and fantasy and
spooky stuff.”
“All I can say is when we reviewed Celia’s books, she sure made me
feel like all sorts of things can happen.”
“You’ll be fine. Now, let’s
just materialize in her office.”
And they do, startling Celia.
C: Celia shrieks and jumps from her chair. “What the--? How did--?
You sparkled like the Star Trek transporter beam…”
She picks up her water glass from her desk. Sniffs. Sips. Shrugs.
“Okay…um…Hi?”
T: “It is very nice to meet you in the flesh.” Keeps watching Celia’s mouth, checking for
fangs as she takes a seat, perching on the end of it as if ready to dash at any
moment. “Now, to get things
started. Tell us, do you believe in
ghosts? In your world are they horrid or friendly or a mixture? Do you talk to them?”
W: “That’s rude! Of course, she talks to them if she sees
them. Oh, sorry, Celia, for
interrupting.”
C: She gestures at them. “Well, clearly I believe in ghosts, since
I’m talking to you now. Actually, given how you arrived, alien makes more sense
to explain you, right?” She rolls her chair back several inches away from them.
“Yep, friendly ghosts and/or aliens works for me.”
W: “Great response. As for
us, we are simply literary magic.”
T: “In other words a combo of ghost, alien, and unexplainable. We,
however, can be whatever…”
W: Cuts Tattle off, knowing she can digress with the best of them.
“Please tell us which of your characters’ has you totally mesmerized and why?”
C: She relaxes against the back of her chair with a sigh of
relief. “So… you’re ghost and/or alien journalists? Cool! Well, all my
characters hold a piece of my heart, but since I’m currently writing about
vampires, I’ll share my favorite. His name is Jonas, and he appears in my
Tranquilli Bloodline Series. He’s the
heroine Carina’s mentor. An ancient vampire originally from England, Jonas
embodies extreme violence in a pretty package.
He’s a man of few words, dark and moody, fiercely loyal and violently
protective of those few people he loves (such as Carina). I adore him so much
that I gave him his own short story in the series: VAMPIRE CODE.
T: Please tell us if you belong to the tribe of geek, nerd, weird
or are you a sensible, logical person like… well…moi, for instance?”
C: Laughs. “Well, I’d like to subscribe to your brand of “sensible
and logical”. You can travel through space and time -- and without even a
Tardis! She grins. “Aaaaand, I think my answer just put me squarely in the
geek/nerd tribe.” Points at a dashing
navy coat hanging in her open closet. “The Tardis coat probably gave me away,
too. The swirly lining with the exploding Tardis was inspired by the episode,
'Vincent (Van Gogh) and the Doctor.' Season 5, episode 10.” She shrugs.
“Yeah…geek.”
T: “A gal after me own heart. I never miss a show, and honestly
believe Doctor Who is real, and the shows are the way he is preparing us for
his actual arrival.”
W: Interrupts before she goes into fandom. “For an infinitely more important question,
if you were a shapeshifter, what creature would you be and why?”
C: She nods. “I get this question a lot. A mermaid might be cool.
I like the idea of being able to breathe underwater. I’m also a cat person, so
maybe a black panther shifter. Wolves are amazing, too, though. I have some sexy Scottish Wolf shifters in
Destiny (Book 2, Tranquilli Bloodline). They’re a fun pack.”
T: Soooo, you like lairs? Horror? Scaring the bejesus outta
people? Is there a dark, dank place deep within you? Tell us…. (Poises on the
edge of her seat, and bites a nail)
C: “Well, clearly you two love to scare the bejesus out of people,
given your sudden sparkly appearance in my office. I like some horror fiction,
especially Stephen King…”
W: Wyre holds a hand to his heart as he interrupts. “You are
indeed a woman of discernment. I own every version, of every book Stephen King
ever wrote. I am a down-home fan for the King of Horror. Forgive my outburst and
do go on.”
C: “And in movies, the best horror movie of all time is, hands
down, The Cabin In The Woods by Joss Whedon. That man is a genius. Everything
he writes is amazing. There’s Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Avengers, Dr. Horrible’s
Sing-along…oh…” She blushes. “I’m
letting my geek flag fly again, aren’t I?”
T: “Geeks are some of my favorite people. They think outside the
circle.”
W: “If you could interview a vampire, what would be your first
question?”
C: Celia’s smile disappears. She leans forward. “I’d ask: Do you play for Team Evil or Team
Good?” Points her finger at them.
“Actually, make sure you ask them that before you agree to meet in person. And
don’t beam yourselves into their space unannounced. Even a vampire on Team Good
might get rather cranky about that!”
T: “Thank you so much for
allowing us to grill… um…. interview you.
You have been a delight, and also thank you for the great advice and for
not biting us.” (Tattle could swear she
saw a glint of fangs.)
Hope
you all enjoyed our triplet interviews. Until next month, keep reading.
Dona
Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq. and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of
Blather City, Wannachat
Created and written by: Angelica Hart and Zi
Books by:
Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER
DOLLS ~ SNAKE DANCE ~
CHASING YESTERDAY
~ CHRISTMAS EVE...VIL
Books by:
Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
STEEL
EMBRACE
BOOK
NOOKIE-A LIBRARIAN'S BUIDE TO THE DO-ME DECIMAL SYSTEM
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