Why?
Michael Davis
Davisstories.com
Author of the Year, 2008
The other night I was working on a passage in a new novel (VEIL OF DECEPTION) where the hero was struggling with understanding WHY he was falling in love with the heroine, and why he needed her so damn much. Oh, I should mention, I’m a guy and I write fiction with a romantic core. Yeah, a big alpha male writing about love, OMG (g).
Now, ignore the physical elements. We all know that men physically need women in their lives. I don’t know about the reverse, but I do know as a man, even an old dude, we still needs the physical, only at my stage of life its more a confirmation of our internal bond than the hunger that exist in my younger years. But I digress. I asked myself, “Why does the hero want her/need her intellectually, emotionally?”
I know that’s a strange question to ask one’s self. Most would say, “Who cares.” Ah, but that’s not me. I always analyze every facet, ever premise in my existence. I’m just weird like that. Some would consider me AR, and perhaps they’re right, but I am what I am. Damn, I digess again (do that a lot lately). Any way, while writing the passage, I was seated next to my wife on the couch, only as usual, she was sawing a cord of wood next to me (e.g. asleep).
I stared at her for several minutes and pondered why I love this woman, why do I need her presence in my day, why is it when we’re apart, I feel less than whole?
Now hold on to your socks because you may disagreement, but for me I reached an epiphany. It wasn’t all the years we had spent together. I’ve always loved her. It wasn’t the physical. I would still love her even if that were gone (though I would be an unhappy camper). So what the hell was it? Then it hit me in the heart like the radiant heat of a warm fireplace. It was all the things that differentiated her from me as a woman. Truth is I feel warm emotions toward most feminine women because of how they differ from me. Their tiny hands, their small feet, their constant sparkling eyes, the tone of their voice, the fact they can only lift 1/5 of what I can, there soft skin, the crazy confusing way they communicate, their need to be protected from the scum and demons in our world, their fragile emotions, everything that makes then different from me makes me love them all the more. Of course there are women out there that have lost the concept of what being feminine really means, like those nasty bossy ones in congress. But romance stories aren’t about them and I don’t sense the warm fuzziness for them anyway.
Now I know that sounds corny, and I’m committed to only one woman in my soul, but I adore most feminine women for that very reason, because they’re so damn different. I don’t feel that way about guys, only women. I like guys as buds, but my linkage with them is different. The question that remains is, “Do women feel positively about men for the same reason?” Do they get a warm response inside when they deal with men other than their spouses because they are so different from them as women? And is that part of the equation that attracts them to their soul mate; the difference? I don’t know, but it was enlightening for me as a man, and helped me better express the hero’s emotions toward the heroine. And why would how I feel be relevant to writing about the hero? Because, in my stories, in some form or shape, there’s a little of me in all my heroes, except for the six pack abs and curly hair. Those days have disappeared.
Michael, you rock the house man! I love seeing you on the loops and you interact with your readers so well. Just so you know, the six pack ab days are not gone, they just have a protective barrier now! :)
ReplyDeleteVal
lastnerve2000@gmail.com
Val
ReplyDeleteYou're so damn funny (ref the abs). And appreciate the feedback. I'll have to loan my wife your special glasses (g). What you read is what I am. If nothing else, I reflect what I think and feel, sometimes many on the political extremes don't deal with it well, but I am what I am.
Thanx
Big Mike
LOL Mike, don't worry about the political extremes ..... people need to relax! That's what reading is all about. I can't remember the last time I picked up a book so I could shred the author for their beliefs. So go you go you ..... you're the author, print what you will. Your books are always an automatic add to my lists. Now I must go and research (in the deep, DEEP recesses of google, so you can't ever google the answer) some trivia question that will just stump you the next time there is a chat! With me, it's not even about the prize, it's about answering the question. You make questions that I just HAVE to answer. You are the very first author to do that. Congratulations! Pat yourself on the back for all my frustrations at finding the answers.
ReplyDeleteHi Mike,
ReplyDeleteYour wife is a lucky woman.
loretta
A little late, but this is the first chance we've had to read your post. You epiphany moment is very enlightening. Also in the sense that the question needed to be asked in the first place. As always an excellent column. We try to never miss any that you post.
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