Tami: Hey Ed, welcome to the blog. I've been reading blogs around the internet the past two weeks by you and I have a feeling that we are going to have a ball today.Ed: **crickets chirpin**
Tami: Again, Welcome Ed Williams to the blog......**
Ed:Ummmmmm, okay darlin', I swear I didn't realize I'd been watchin' Dirty Harry flicks so long, I'm right here!
Tami: Don't you darlin' ...
Ed: I'm doin' well, got my Diet Mountain Dew in one hand, my mouse in the other, and I probably shouldn't say much else. Guilt by inference, you know.
Tami: Well ya know we're glad to have you here and all, especially since we hear you have a new book comin' out in November. Tell me a little bit about ChristmaSin' and it's main character.
Ed: I guess I ought to give y'all a little background info first. I grew up in Juliette, Georgia, whose one claim to fame is that the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" was filmed there. Its official census population when I was growing up was exactly 400. I guess you could say it was one of those deals where you knew everyone and they all knew you. And you ended up either being involved in, or hearing about, all the various mischief that went on.
There were a lot of things that happened around Christmas over the years that I associated with Juliette. Lots of nice things happened, as an example people would take cakes and cookies to other people's houses and they called it "Christmasin'". On the other hand, the local men always organized a large, heavy stakes cockfight each year about a week before Christmas. The deal was that at least a few of the guys involved would win money, which would be used to finance their Christmas that year. Throw in the fact that I wrote this book as a 17 year old version of Ed Williams telling the story, and you have hormones, heartwarming stuff, and things the devil himself would be proud of. Add it all together and you truly have "ChristmaSin'".
I've gotten so damn tired over the years of reading so much sugary sweet Christmas stuff that I thought it might be fun to put some real-life Juliette events from years ago all together in one story, then have it told by a wild and horny seventeen year old kid, and tack on a little Christmas message at the end. I want to tell a different type Christmas story, and with "ChristmaSin'", I hope we have.
Tami: OK, since you want to give us a different kind of Christmas story, how about a taste of something that isn't so sugar and spice and everything nice. Give me a little peak Ed. I dare ya!
Ed: Tami, in other words, you want to know if I'm really bad or whether I'm like one of those pharmacists that turns into a motorcyle rider on the weekends?
Tami: Now Ed, you know that's not what I meant, but if you have a Harley we can talk. Now be a good boy (if you know how) and give us a taste of the book. I want to see inside the mind of Ed Williams.
Ed: I gotcha. I like to write things as I see them, and for them to be both fun and realistic. I hate being bored, so I do everything I can to try and see that my readers remember the words before them. In fact, if they don't like or love my books, I want them to hate the hell out of them. A writer's worst enemy is an indifferent audience, and I aim to see that that never happens. I don't write to save the world or influence people, I like to write stuff that goes straight to the heart, the reader's laughing instinct, groin, or better!
Santy has his bag over one shoulder and a walking stick clutched in his other hand. As he walks over to the church Christmas tree he turns to lower his bag to the floor. When he does, it causes his other hand to come around and thwack his walking stick right into the tree. It’s a pretty solid shot, several ornaments are popped or knocked out into the crowd, and a couple of tree limbs are broken and left dangling off the tree. Santy slips up for a second and said “damn“ right out loud, which causes almost everyone there to start laughing and buzzing around like a bunch of yard flies over at Winn Dixie. The Reverend Malkinski is trying to cover it all up by saying “darn” two or three times, but nobody is buying his feeble attempt at a dodge. Ed Jr. is tickled as all hell with the way Santy has just expressed himself, but he has to hold in his laughter as my mom is staring at him like a condemned man does the clock during his final hour. Of course, him not being able to laugh forces Brother and I to share his fate, as we both know that we would tote the red ass if we slip up and laugh out loud. That’s the worst thing to me about church, you have to hold stuff in sometimes when you‘d really just love to let it all out. We can’t do that, though, because Ed Jr. told me one time that, “If men could do anything they wanted, the world would be nothing but farts, jism, sass talk, and women whose legs were spread wider than the Grand Canyon.” He’s pretty much hitting that one on the head, although we guys don‘t wanna admit it.
The laughter finally dies down, and Santy goes over and sits down on a big wooden chair and starts handing out presents. He reads off each child’s name, and then that particular child comes up and receives their present. Most of the kids who come up are shy. They just get their gifts from Santy and walk back to their parents. One little girl, however, is different. Her name is Samantha Griffin, and when her name is called out she walks up and takes her gift from Santa. Then, instead of shying away or running off, she looks up at him and says, “Santa, I love you and God loves you. I didn’t get anything for Christmas last year 'cause my daddy got the cancer and died. Thank you for being so good to me.” If that isn‘t enough to tug at your heart, the little girl then holds her arms open for Santa to hug her. Santy does, and there aren’t too many dry eyes in the congregation while the two of them embrace. The little girl then steps back, waves at Santa, and returns to her seat. With all due respect to the Reverend Malkinski, little Samantha probably did more to remind everyone of what the true Christmas spirit is all about than anything else presented during this evening. And then some.
Tami: Well that certainly shows that Christmas isn't all sugar and spice and everything nice, no matter how hard others want to believe it. Talking about not being sugar and spice and everything nice, I need our readers to hear about your other books.
Ed: My first one was the first thing I ever wrote in my life beyond a school paper of some sort. It was a collection of very wild Juliette country boy stories that ended up with the title, "Sex, Dead Dogs, and Me: The Juliette Journals." That book started out in four bookstores in Macon, Georgia, and ended up being carried nationally by Books A Million and in the south by Barnes and Noble. Talk about a pure fluke, I always felt like the Forrest Gump of Literature after it came out. In 2000, the paperback version of the book was released, and in 2003 there were hardback and paperback versions of its sequel, "Rough As A Cob: More From the Juliette Journals." It did very well to boot.
A story of mine, "Sally the Screamer," was included in the recent (2007) Southern humor anthology, "Southern Fried Farce." It was such an honor to be in a book with writers like Roy Blount and Celia Rivenbark. And now there's "ChristmaSin'".
Tami: OK, everyone that's read this blog now wants to contact you and they just don't know where to go and what to do. They don't have a direct line to you like I do! So, tell them all Ed, where can they go to learn more about the 'real' Ed Williams?
Ed: Darlin', if they want to contact me, they can simply email me at: ed3@ed-williams.com. I also have a web site, www.ed-williams.com, and a Twitter page, www.twitter.com/ELW3
Tami: Man, I'm havin' way too much fun to end the blog today, but if we keep chattin' I'll never get any work done. Thank you so much for stoppin' on by. (I wasn't talkin' like this when you first got here!) Got any closing words of wisdom for our readers or just somethin' to keep the good person in us a little bad?
Ed: Take a look at my book when it comes out, please, I'd hate to think I was sayin' all this stuff for nothing. And re being good and being bad, I'll just say this. I obviously never apologize for when I'm good, and I smile like hell when I think about being bad.
Or am bad.
Thanks everyone!
Tami: Well then from what I hear you must be smilin' alot. I hope you come back to see us soon Ed. Come on back next week guys we are going to have another interview.
No comments:
Post a Comment