FROM THE DESK OF
DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.
ASSOCIATE WRYE BALDERDASH
Wrye wearing a 1920s swimsuit, ball cap and flip-flops lounges by the pool, sipping iced sweet tea. "Time to put away the laptop and have fun," he says to Tattle as she taps away on a keyboard.
She squints at her computer screen, types with one hand, fans herself with the other and glances at Wrye. "To quote Sam Keen, 'Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.'"
"Am not lazy. I am working hard, thinking!"
"According to Russel Baker, 'Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.' And now, m'sun soaking bud, it is time for our Love of Literature Leap!"
Wrye's outfit instantly transforms into that of a biker. "Vrooom!"
Tattle snaps her fingers and adopts similar apparel as they leap into celia breslin’s book. "Perfect attire for our review of Celia Breslin's supernatural romantic fantasy DESTINY, the second book in THE TRANQUILLI BLOODLINE SERIES."
"And it is indeed brilliant with just the right mix of sassy, creepy, naughty and oooh lala nice."
Pokes the air and makes a sizzling sound, "And don't forget hot... hot... hot! The heroine is Carina Tranquilli, owner of a stylish trendy nightclub for the preternatural community. Haven, is the personification of heat, errr not just figuratively rocking hot bod heat, but she literally has fire powers. Half human/half vampire, and a baby vamp at that, she has the ability to burn to ash truly nasty vampires. Though, she is still working on control, and finding her fangs, claws, and...."
Wrye interrupts, waggling a finger at a name. "Unfortunately, the one vampire she'd like to fry the most, arch-villain, Dixon, who made his first appearance in HAVEN has returned and, if possible, he is more heinous than ever. He has kidnapped two of her best friends, Faith and Kai, and forces her to capitulate to some very unusual and vile demands."
"Despite her father being the leader of the Tranquilli Vampire Cosca and, the fact, that she is a vampire princess and the pre-destined Chosen One in training, which she only recently discovered, she dare not do anything against Dixon. Especially confide in her estranged but powerful father, for Dixon threatens to kill her friends if she does." Tattle sticks her tongue out at the scoundrel even though he can't see her.
Wrye scowls at Dixon. "Meanwhile, her soul mate, Alexander, has been sent to Europe by her surrogate vampire mother, Tessa, so she can't find even a smidgeon of solace in his arms."
"Even worse," Tattle offers, "he suddenly becomes incommunicado, making her wonder if she has been betrayed. So as destiny would have it, in steps an ancient, wickedly charming, loyal to her family vampire with enough good looks to make even the dead swoon. And it seems he isn't out for blood but her heart." Tattle drools over Fineas.
"Calm down, m'ole gal, you're still amongst the living. As for Carina... well... destiny does will out..." Wrye becomes suddenly pensive... "Only, that might not be the best thing for Carina."
"The readers will be dying to find out the outcome." Tattle winks. "Celia Breslin has created a new twist on the vampire theme, giving us a novel vampire universe, a young heroine that has fresh abilities, and an eye-candy entourage that is pleasing to any vampire lover's palette. Her writing is smooth and sophisticated, making this particular reader want to suck on every bit of dialogue and prose. All while leaving just enough of a blood trail to make me anxiously await the next installment of the series."
Rolling his eyes at Tattle's vampirisms, he adds, "I especially like her use of a ticking clock, which isn't a clock, but a nice little gift that Dixon sends her at the beginning of the story. (Read the book to find out what it is.) It provides a deep piercing bite of suspense that keeps the pages turning. Simultaneously, the evil is so well crafted, it offers an unquenchable thirst for vengeance on behalf of Carina. Great book! Excellent writing style."
"Only one problem."
"We still need to read HAVEN!" Tattle pulls out her e-reader and returns to the pool.
"Now, before we leave all you eager readers, we'd like to announce the advent of a new exciting venture! To celebrate over a year of reviews, we will bestow our first annual award on the author of one of the books we have reviewed."
Tattle joins Wrye. "Next month we will list the criteria for the award and list the authors and their books. You can imagine how difficult it will be to choose among these outstanding stories, and excellent craftsmanship."
"Almost as challenging as choosing a name for the award." Wrye, with peacockish pride, pokes Tattle in the ribs with his elbow. "Tell them."
"Well, we really haven't decided...."
"Yes, we have." Clearing his throat, Wrye blurts. It is called:
THE FABULOUS FICTION FABRICATOR FEATHER IN THE FEDORA, WRYE TOAST FROM BALDERDASH AND TATTLE... JAM OPTIONAL AWARD, DENOTING THAT BALDERDASH BABBLES AND TATTLE PRATTLES AND GOOD WRITERS WRITE WELL...
TAA DAA! WITH BOW AND CURTSY
"Wait a second, m'winded friend, that was three or more of the titles we were considering."
"And since we couldn't make up our minds, I think this is perfect."
"You think? I don't think so. Then again...."
He grins his crooked, over-confident grin. "It is soooo us!"
Tattle mutters, "Oh boy, we're in trouble!"
Hope you all enjoyed our jaunt into our latest book review. Until next month, keep reading!
Dona Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq. and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of Blather City, Wannachat
Created and written by
Angelica Hart and Zi
Books by Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS ~ SNAKE DANCE ~
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