Celia’s Writing Tip: Filter out the Filters
As a reader, writer, and editor, I love to
sink deep into a character’s POV (point of view) and the story’s action. Filter words put a layer of separation
between the reader and the character/story.
My vote: edit those filter puppies from your manuscript.
Filter words include: saw, heard, thought, felt, touched, looked,
seemed, noticed, wondered, realized, watched, decided, etc.
Let’s look at an example. Just for you, dear readers, I’ve added filters
to a scene from Haven, Book 1 in my Tranquilli Bloodline Series, while every editor
bone in my body yelled, “Noooooooooo, don’t do it!” LOL…
I
smelled the aromas of fried potatoes and grilled meat, and felt my stomach
rumble, but I didn’t dig in due to that pesky problem I saw brewing across the
room. I watched the grill meister zoom over to Biker Buzzcut. I watched as
Roland, too, invaded the biker’s space.
I
saw Alexander flash to his feet and stand guard in front of our table. I felt
my hand clench my knife so hard the handle dug into my palm.
But
I saw the vampires doing nothing at all.
Okay, now let’s look at the REAL version of
this passage, as originally written, with **No Filters**…
The aromas of fried potatoes and
grilled meat teased my nose and rumbled my stomach, but I didn’t dig in due to
that pesky problem brewing across the room. The grill meister zoomed over to
Biker Buzzcut. Roland, too, invaded the biker’s space.
Alexander flashed to his feet and
stood guard in front of our table. My hand clenched my knife so hard the handle
dug into my palm.
But the vampires did nothing at all.
See
what I mean? The filter-free version pulls us deep into Carina’s head and increases
the tension of the moment, as if we’re right there with her. Give it a go in
your own writing; I think you’ll be pleased with the results.
Celia is an avid reader, published
author, and editor. She lives in California with her husband, daughter, and two
feisty cats. When not writing or editing, you’ll find Celia exercising
(really), reading, hanging with her family, or indulging her addiction to Joss
Whedon’s TV shows and movies.
What’s
on her Editorial #MSWL:
Celia
is in search of romance (all heat levels, sweet to erotic, but particularly
higher heat), urban fantasy, and romantic science fiction. In all genres, Celia
would like to see character-driven, emotional stories with a strong conflict,
quirky, sassy, and smart heroes and heroines, oodles of sexual tension, and a
solid plot arc. Urban fantasy and paranormal romance are her first loves, plus
trope-driven contemporaries with quirky or surprising meet-cutes, humor and/or
action, preferably written in dual POV. Bring on the fated mates, the second
chance couple, the alpha male bad boys and kickass heroines, the cute nerds,
soul-searching musicians, sexy CEOs, military heroes and heroines... Thumbs up
for stories with series potential.
Connect
with Celia on Social Media:
Web site: http://www.celiabreslin.com/
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