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Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Tattle and Wrye column November 2016 edition

FROM THE DESK OF
DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.
AND
ASSOCIATE WRYE BALDERDASH

Greetings,

“Humph!”

Wyre stares at Tattle’s red face and folded arms.  “Why all in a huff?”

“They wouldn’t let me take my turkey to church.”

“Why would you want to take a…. Oh, never mind, why didn’t they let you.”

“They said turkeys use FOWL language.”  Giggles at her quirky joke.

Wrye groans.  “Well, at least the police didn’t arrest your turkey for FOWL play.”

“So funny I forgot to laugh.” But she does then crooks her arms, “Ready to join me on our monthly Love of Literature Leap Reviews!”

“As a space turkey would say, Hubble, hubble, hubble, let’s go!”


Tattle gives Wrye a look that queries his sanity.


The eccentric duet take a gander at SILENT AUTUMN, a sci-fi romance by Veronica H. Hart.

“In 2179, Taylor Left Hand Female 8635 and Maximilian Male are fleeing the North like the White Rabbit late for a date.” Tattle hops like a bunny as if for emphasis. “However, it remains to be realized if they’ll be late or on time to warn the West that the pseudo-elected president of the North and the Chairman of the South plan to destroy the Chairman of the West to obtain sole power over food production.”

“You heard her right, ladies and germs,” Wrye announces in a Vaudeville-like tone. “We’re talking about a futuristic non-united American. North, South and West are separate countries, and like ole Abe predicted, there is nothing standing strong about them.  The North and South are fully corrupt with rigged elections and drugged food to keep the citizenship pliant and obedient and unexpectedly infertile.”

“Yup, babies are created with artificial insemination.” Tattle’s expression turns sour. “Even Taylor had provided two children in her teens, which is mandatory since the population had dwindled horribly.  Now that her contribution is completed, she is a top cosmetic designer, tasked with the responsibility of making women more attractive to men so they’ll…”

Wrye interrupts as he makes a few insinuating gestures along with his infamous eyebrow jiggle. “Oh, yeah, baby, time for the wild thing, the horizontal tango, the foxy trot, the…” Pauses, winks and adds,  “You get my meaning?”

“Geeze, I think everyone this side of the Milky Way gets your meaning.” An elaborate sigh escapes Tattle, before she continues, “Only, in the North and South they aren’t doing the horizontal whatever. They are controlled with microchip implants and drugged-up lives. Taylor, however, at an out-of the way power station overhears and tapes the North’s President and the South’s Chairman making their nefarious plans. Once they leave, she is discovered by secret service. Maximilian saves her from a fellow secret service agent, Randall, who disregards the respect for life law and wants to kill her.  Hence the escape, followed by encountering a woman who commits suicide upon delivering her baby. Just what they need, instant parenthood.”

Holding up an imaginary microphone, Wrye spits out his questions in newscaster style. “However, just why is Maximilian helping Taylor?  What is up with all the unique and unexpected groupings of people in the West? And will they be in time to stop a catastrophe?”

Tattle snares the pretend microphone. “Veronica H. Hart writes a fantastic sci-fi themed story as if it is a contemporary novel. The reader is so integrated into the plotline that you are experiencing it rather than just reading. Especially, once Taylor comes out of her drug induced fog when she stops eating government food. You can’t help but be impressed that this timid soul is actually fierce, courageous and exceptionally maternal.  I, also, like how the book keeps you guessing. You never know who to really trust, especially when they encounter groups of people that seem to be helpful, but…  Then there is Maximilian, who keep things close to the chest one moment and is completely open the next. It creates an emotional roller coaster ride. You know the type that plunges nearly straight down and also turns upside down.” 

“There is a serious underpinning to this story that keeps your heart racing and your thoughts riveted to the storyline.  If you are able to put the book down, you are still thinking about the possibilities that could happen. The writing is snappy and quick, and the twist and turns are unexpected. Yet, here and there a campy light-hearted moment occurs that makes you smile.  Only, don’t get too attached to that smile, soon you’ll be driven by the story’s intensity once more. Can’t wait to see more from Veronica H. Hart.”



Tattle and Wrye warp into TRAITOR KNIGHT, a fantasy by Keith W. Willis

“The instant you meet Morgan McRobbie, Knight Commander of the King’s Legion aka The Dark Knight… Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaa…,” Wrye expresses loudly. “You know he is going to be an interesting character.  Though heroic, he is certainly not your typical cookie cutter hero. He is the champion of the wars against the Rhuddlani invaders, and is more comfortable around a sword, or a dragon than a beautiful woman, which of course happens.”

“It is this dark-skinned half breed that comes to a beautiful damsel’s rescue. He is also the man everyone whispers had turned traitor against Kilbourne.  A cad?  A villain?  Not possible, is it? After all, he is so darn appealing.” Tattle fans herself and feigns a young girl’s swoon-sigh.  “Roguishly handsome, he also has a humorous bent, adopts an atypical attitude, with just the right amount of foibles.  You, also, can’t help but adore his very likeable, if somewhat show-off horse, Arnicus.”
  
“Upon reading, I started chuckling immediately.” Wrye offers his best deep-throated chuckle. “ It was inevitable considering the heroine stared at the about-to-be-toasted knight with disdain, while a terrifying dragon, who after a display of grandiose flames and fury, burps up a bit of steam and a few hiccups. Morgan didn’t defeat the dragon as much as the dragon appeared to be tired of the gambit.”

“Ah, but it is not all fun and games.”  Eyes narrowing suspiciously, Tattle studies the heroine.  “Though many suspected Morgan to be a traitorous knight to his King, finding this damsel-in-tenacity  alone in the woods, snack fare for the first dragon to be seen in three hundred years, one cannot help wondering if she, indeed is the real traitor. Of course, Morgan does wonder. Though she professes to be gathering flowers for her mistress Queen Gwyndoln, Marissa duBerry, lady-in-waiting is no shrinking daffodil.”

“And that is just the opening draw of this magnetic story. There is just the right blend of fun, sinister play and manners-all-soooo-proper-when-at-court dalliances. If anyone can remember swashbuckler Technicolor Errol Flynn pirate flicks, it has the same wonderful tendencies of dark drama, flippancy and fun.  The dialogue is clean. The writing style, in this book, is smooth and direct. The author is one of my favorites.”

“I can’t say enough about the talent oozing from the storyline. There is never any down time with the plot, it keeps rolling and picking up steam. Keith is a story-teller puppeteer, just pulling our strings as we dance to his magnificent prose. Through it all, you see Keith’s unique writing technique. It is not an imitation of the ole Masters yet it is still fantasy at its finest with that wonderful wash of enchantment that brings out the possibility that magic can happen. I have read all of Keith W. Willis’ work, and I do believe TRAITOR KNIGHT is now my favorite.  Hmmm, that is until he writes a new book, that new one might end up taking top spot. Each book gets better!”


Another leap and the two review the paranormal SILVER CORD by J. C. Mead.

“Kat Cambridge heads for the deep south when her not-so-wonderful Catholic/Atheist husband has a heart attack and gives up the ghost.  Which is quite ironic considering a different ghost attacks Kat’s heart but in that goose-bump, hubba-hubba way.” Wrye leans forward and does the infamous eye-brow lift and wiggle.  “Once there, she absorbs nature and reconnects with her old wiccan practices.”

“The oooh yum-yum Scottish soldier specter might be just what single mom Kat needs, in a strange sort of way, to help her forget the nasty past as she makes a new start. Jess Greenleaf, also a single mom, joins Kat and the two intend to restore an old home.” Tattle tilts her head and scrunches up her face as she re-reads a few chapters. “Then again that ghostly owner might have another agenda.  His soul is drifting and he needs Kat’s and Jess’ witchy spell skills before he simply is no more.”

“Warning!  Warning!  Warning!” declares Wrye, waving his arms around like a derelict robot.  “Misdirection plans to take you on a little spin around, especially when Colin MacKay shoots an arrow of interest into Kat’s heart.”

“Ah yes, while Kat digs into the house’s history, this new hunka-hunka, all muscle and flesh and real-to-the-touch man reveals ghost-soldier’s identity.” Tattle's eyes widened, mouth forms an ‘O’ and she smacks the sides of her cheeks, going into full ut-oh mode.  “What a choice… Alive or dead? Who does she choose?  Surprisingly, the ghost seduces her right into his…  Oh, not going to read-n-tell.”

“Especially don’t reveal any of the lurking secrets or the humorous barbs,” Wrye adds.  “All in all J. C. Mead did an excellent job of making Wicca spells seem real, ghost more than a possibility, and has created characters that you want to hang with on a daily basis. Kat’s and Jess’ friendship is very believable, and the relationships with their children have naturalistic appeal.  They truly act like typical moms.”

“I like the well-paced writing style and how the story keeps you guessing.  There is plenty of romance but it doesn’t overwhelm the mystery, magic and momentum of the storyline. It totally held my attention. I found myself propping up my e-reader and following along even as I was cooking. Errr, yes, I burnt the chicken. Shame on you, J. C. distracting me that way.  Tsk… Tsk!”

“Oh, just go have some Mead and stop complaining, that is always Kat’s and Jess’ go-to,” Wrye says with a big grin.

“Seriously, this a great read, smooth plot, creative twist on what could have been an old theme, interesting and clever dialogue and appealing, ageless, realistic characters - even the ones you don’t like, you enjoy disliking them.  Great book, it is in my to-be-read-again pile!”

Hope you all enjoyed our jaunt into reviewing books by CBG authors.  Until next month, keep reading.

Happy Gobble-Gobble Day to those in the U. S. and a belated Happy Thanksgiving to those in Canada.

Dona Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq. and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of Blather City, Wannachat

 


Created and written by
Angelica Hart and Zi

Books by Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS ~ SNAKE DANCE ~
CHASING YESTERDAY ~ CHRISTMAS EVE...VIL

Books by Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
STEEL EMBRACE
BOOK NOOKIE-A LIBRARIAN'S BUIDE TO THE DO-ME DECIMAL SYSTEM

angelicahartandzi.com


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