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| Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
Hello Holly! We are happy to see you here.
HH: Heya! It's marvelous to be here on… your blog! These are some mighty-comfy seats, and I adore the art on the wall behind you. Is that meant to be a fish or a boat! Ooh, cookies!
And who is that handsome gentleman you have with you?
MA: Good afternoon, my dear. My name is Malcolm.
Welcome Malcolm, the ladies are happy to eat—whoops—meet you.
It is wonderful to meet them too. I can see a couple of beauties out there in the audience that I would love to… How did you put it? 'Eat'. But I feel my wife would have something to say about that—if she ever found out.
So why don’t we satisfy their curiosity and have you answer a few questions?
Questions? Very well. Seven inches.
That's not what you were going to ask? You mean, you didn't want to know how large my biggest flask is? Oh dear.
Well, in that case, you'd better ask away. Wouldn't want to keep the ladies waiting. *Winks at the audience
Perfect! Lets go before they melt. Question number one: What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?
Seek out an immortality potion to ensure I'm alive long enough to discover my wife and perform a little magic to make sure she finds me. When she's ready of course.
What is one thing you will never do again?
Seek out an immortality potion to ensure I'm alive long enough to discover my wife and perform a little magic… *Laughs
Don't print that. She'll kill me.
I have many regrets in my life, generally found in the course of discovering the easiest ways to blow myself up, over and over again.
But the one thing, the very one thing, I will never do again? Put my wife in danger in the hopes of saving my own skin. I was a coward, I'll admit that, and I learned my lesson when I thought I'd killed her. I will never do it again.
If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
"Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear." I've always liked that saying, and believe it is a very apt description of myself.
But then, it's really up to you to decide if you should listen to me about this.
Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest?
Hearing. Good luck sneaking up on me, I have ears sharper than a cat.
Holly places a hand on his shoulder. Malcolm jumps as Holly laughs.
Oh shut up, Holly. Fine, my best sense is my sense of smell. I don't like to brag about it—who wants to be in a room full of unwashed men and brag that they can smell every sweaty pore on their peers' bodies? It's a terrible image—let alone the actual smell!
One more question, although we will be sad to see you go. How would your friends describe you?
Wait, me? Friends? Lady, I think you have your Malcolm's crossed. I have only one friend, and he tried to kill my wife. I'm sure he'd describe me as a good-for-nothing turncoat, with an enchantment over me, brought on by the Sorcerer of Arnhid. *Shakes head.* Fool, he is.
Malcolm, it has been fantastic chatting with you.
I'm sure. Don't be a stranger at Tarsit Castle, my dear. We have a few rooms you might find… exciting. And I may have a few spells you'd enjoy.
Welcome Malcolm, the ladies are happy to eat—whoops—meet you.
It is wonderful to meet them too. I can see a couple of beauties out there in the audience that I would love to… How did you put it? 'Eat'. But I feel my wife would have something to say about that—if she ever found out.
So why don’t we satisfy their curiosity and have you answer a few questions?
Questions? Very well. Seven inches.
That's not what you were going to ask? You mean, you didn't want to know how large my biggest flask is? Oh dear.
Well, in that case, you'd better ask away. Wouldn't want to keep the ladies waiting. *Winks at the audience
Perfect! Lets go before they melt. Question number one: What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?
Seek out an immortality potion to ensure I'm alive long enough to discover my wife and perform a little magic to make sure she finds me. When she's ready of course.
What is one thing you will never do again?
Seek out an immortality potion to ensure I'm alive long enough to discover my wife and perform a little magic… *Laughs
Don't print that. She'll kill me.
I have many regrets in my life, generally found in the course of discovering the easiest ways to blow myself up, over and over again.
But the one thing, the very one thing, I will never do again? Put my wife in danger in the hopes of saving my own skin. I was a coward, I'll admit that, and I learned my lesson when I thought I'd killed her. I will never do it again.
If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
"Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear." I've always liked that saying, and believe it is a very apt description of myself.
But then, it's really up to you to decide if you should listen to me about this.
Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest?
Hearing. Good luck sneaking up on me, I have ears sharper than a cat.
Holly places a hand on his shoulder. Malcolm jumps as Holly laughs.
Oh shut up, Holly. Fine, my best sense is my sense of smell. I don't like to brag about it—who wants to be in a room full of unwashed men and brag that they can smell every sweaty pore on their peers' bodies? It's a terrible image—let alone the actual smell!
One more question, although we will be sad to see you go. How would your friends describe you?
Wait, me? Friends? Lady, I think you have your Malcolm's crossed. I have only one friend, and he tried to kill my wife. I'm sure he'd describe me as a good-for-nothing turncoat, with an enchantment over me, brought on by the Sorcerer of Arnhid. *Shakes head.* Fool, he is.
Malcolm, it has been fantastic chatting with you.
I'm sure. Don't be a stranger at Tarsit Castle, my dear. We have a few rooms you might find… exciting. And I may have a few spells you'd enjoy.
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