Wednesday, October 21, 2009



When writing IT MAY BE LOVE it was a struggle to remain one with the twisted lust of a madman, who was so, because of his obsession with love and anonymity. He has been corresponding to a lady via e-mail. Hidden behind its cloak, freed to say much he might have never revealed. Wired through each piece is the growth of the complexity of the man. Some sad. Some profound. Some intense. And some scary.

The following is an excerpt:

Much of my poetry has a tilt, a twist, a difference that dances with the weird. Why? The challenge to the resolve of it all. I see captured in all of us a dance with endless dichotomy. To place that in balance, to accept it, to understand it is to bond one with the other... me to you.

Regarding my offer to meet the lady who might spend many nighttimes fighting tears, you wrote, “Are you sure you want to know that woman?” I will say without one moment of hesitation… YES!!! If there is pain I will feel it willingly. Trust I will not be brutal or judgmental. Believe me when I say, my heart is open if you wish to share. Watercolor me an empath, add tears if we need to cry together, or smiles if laughter is our fate.

Strength is an amazing thing

Power is an absolute aphrodisiac

Humanity is a sign of strength

Huggin’ is not weakness

Asserting one’s strength; good

But asserting one's strength

As well as their heart

Awesome… simply awesome.

Baggage is the gift that life’s experience shares with each of us. How we handle it is our gift to others. I experience life’s pain at its moment, respecting its value, and then when the morn is done, I move on, not forgetting but not letting it debilitate me. Life has an abundance of opportunities to share. I believe we have to share them. Yes, there is a presumption that you have baggage. We all do. This is neither an indictment nor a presumption as to how you handle it, just that I understand that we each have pasts that effect our futures.

Speaking of futures… does ours hold naked moments

The man smiles a boyish smile… a glow is captured in his eyes.

Moments where you are the object of my desires.

Desires that grow from touches with your soul.

I ask… with a gentle puff of air… will I know your skin?

I felt a vulnerable man struggling to be open putting so much on the line that he could have frightened the woman. Was this too much, too quick? Seems he was willing to risk it. Would you have? Was he honest? You'd believe it. Was he scary? She could have believed it. Was he honest? Maybe not. Was he scary? Maybe she believed him a romantic and she so deserved that, needed that, and mostly wanted that. Would she have risked a madman? Possibly.

The question that is out there is how do we embrace the pathos of such a character as we write it. There are plenty of tricks. For me it is my engineering training. I would always read the codes and regulations associated with the issue before I'd sit to resolve it. As a writer, I keep a sidebar of the characters' personalities and reread before writing, preparing and re-preparing. Yes, a character morphs during the development but it is our duty to control those growths, keeping them true to the expectations of the story.

Now, Angelica has a different tact. She writes and asks me to polish any character flaws. I do. Her point is why should both of us be so disciplined. I get that. It is that freedom that she has which allows for some astonishing things.

The following excerpt from IT MAY BE LOVE further sketches the man's complexity yet also his agenda:

My eyes smile from the talk of sin, not true sin, but that of the playful dance of lovers-to-be. I am a man of faith, raised in the church. I respect Christian ideals, have lived a modest and humble life honoring them, but I do lust and see it in harmony with my faith.

So as love becomes ours

The seek for pleasure will draw upon me

So as time bonds us

I will want to have all of you about me

I wobbled when he presumed. I felt her trepidation when he assumed. I saw a man who wanted to manipulate but called it honesty. Ouch! We've known them.

To burn that line between values so one might construct a character can be privately entertaining but it also can be a process of ripping at our souls. I hurt for that man. I struggle to understand his pathos. I shed tears. Felt fears. Was angered. Needed to befriend him... but could not. His soul and spirit are real to me. Do I want to rewrite him successful, if he was not? Damn straight I do but I resist out of respect to the storytelling.

Taut Johnson in KILLER DOLLS, for reasons of National Security, had to lie, and sadly for him he had to do so to a woman he had grown to love. I hated writing that. Angelica cussed often calling him a #@%&sucker of the order of he must burn in hell. Could we have soft-soaped him? Yes. But without that conflict we would have been vending white bread or pabulum to readers who want that strong pull-you-push-me. Was Taut a bad man? Yes! No! Maybe so! Read. Let us know.

This is Zi saying... I want you... to read!

We love to hear from anyone interesting in what we do. Anyone who writes us and leaves a s-mail address, we will send you a gift and add you to any future mailings.

Angelica Hart and Zi

Killer Dolls ~ September 2009

Snake Dance ~ February 2010

Champagne Books

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