Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Excerpt from D.I.C.K.s Case One: Holy Murder

Case 1: Holy Murder

A New Smyrna Beach Mystery
By Victoria Roder
Cozy Mysetery
Champagne Books:

A prescription drug ring, a murder, and a kidnapping lead three friends to form Dames Investigating Crimes and Killers, otherwise known as D.I.C.KS.


I had to admit it, Adamary and Liz were helping make the transition of moving the body run rather smoothly. Beside the open baptismal pool in the sanctuary, Adamary and I both pushed down on the handles of the two wheeled appliance cart tipped at an angle. “How does it look?” I said.

Liz shook her hands in the air. “Yuck, yuck, yuck. It looks like you’ve got a dead guy in a garbage bag with a sheet thrown over. Oh man, disgusting. It’s a tablecloth from the cafeteria. I’m gonna have to burn it.”

“Let’s put the cart down,” I said.

We released the handles.

Adamary tapped the cart handle. “Are you saying you can make this look better?”

Liz shuddered and stepped forward. “I can’t believe I’m going to touch him again.”

“It’s not so bad, he’s in plastic,” Adamary said.

Liz tugged at the material and attempted to loosen it from behind the corpse’s back. “If we have the cloth a little looser...” She jerked the cloth, and the stiff body tipped forward. She screamed. The cloth still clasped in her hand, Liz tumbled backward into the baptismal pool. The rigid body in the bag splashed into the water on top of her.

Adamary screamed.

Liz screamed again, flailed her arms and kicked her feet. She struggled against the sheet and the dead man. She spun herself and pushed the corpse beneath her kicking her legs until her feet managed to touch the bottom of the shallow pool.

Adamary and I both gasped. “Are you okay?”

Liz’s lower lip quivered. “No. No. No. I’m not okay. I’ve just been assaulted by a dead man. Take my hand, get me out of here.”

The creak of the sanctuary door drew their attention. “Lay down!” Adamary ordered.

Liz pushed soaked hair out of her face. “What?”

I waved my hand toward the baptismal pool. “Lay down on top of the body.”

“No way in hell.”

“Do it, or it’s all over,” I said.

Butt first, Liz moved her arms behind her and pushed the body lower in the shallow water. Several times her hands slipped off the plastic and she bobbed up and down before she was able to steady the body beneath her.

Adamary kicked off her high heels, jumped from the altar platform, and stood in front of the window of the baptismal pool to block the view of the corpse.

Mrs. Boeller crossed the threshold into the sanctuary and waddled down the aisle. I bolted forward to meet her.

Mrs. Boeller waved a piece of paper. “There is a typo in the bulletin for my great-nephew’s baptism today.”

I stopped in front of her.

Mrs. Boeller pointed. “What in God’s creation is she doing in the baptismal pool?”

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