Tattle & Wrye - April 2010

FROM THE DESK OF

DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.

AND

ASSOCIATE WRYE BALDERDASH

Greetings,

Tattle practically floats into the office, dressed in a full yellow skirt, white ruffled blouse, an enormous frilly, flower strewn Easter hat and yellow bowling shoes. "In my Easter bonnet," she sings, ending with, "...Grandest lady in the Easter Parade.  I adore April."  Nine bees and one fly buzz her bonnet.

"On April first I'm always tired after the long March to it."  Dressed just as dapper, including a top hat, tails, ascot and diamond tie-pin, Wrye questions with a grin, "We're off to a parade?  A parade with rabbits in the heat of the day.  Would that give us hot cross bunnies?"

"No, we're off on our Love of Literature Leap."  She holds out an Easter basket filled with books.  "All our favorites!"

Out of Wrye's top hat, as if a magician's, a hare pops two lengthy lopped ears.  He extends his crooked elbow, hands her a fancy colored egg and they leap, letting anyone who notices that on the seat of his pants is a bunny tail.



Wrye picks a book, flips it like a coin, and the two leap into FLAWLESS by Kimber Chin, a romantic suspense.

"Oh my, he looks familiar," Tattle says, spying a dangerous but handsome man, fanning the spontaneous flash of heat.  "My, he swelters!  Killer looks...hubba, hubba...the man has reformed."  She waggles her tushie.

"Hadn't noticed.  Ah, yes, yes, Tavos Santos, he was introduced in Kimber's best seller INVISIBLE.  Tavos is a known killer."  He bites the butt off a chocolate bunny and the ears of another, turns them to face each other, and as if two puppets he speaks for them, one saying, "My, my, my butt hurts."  The other bobs.  "Huh?"  Wrye puts the rabbits back in his pocket and as if his play had never happened, turned to Tattle.  "He's a killer."

"I can see that my April showers...hunks."

"As for being a reformed killer, Grace Williams, however, thinks differently, for upon meeting him, she believes he has been sent to...da...da...da...daaaa!"  Runs a finger across his throat, making the appropriate slitting sound.  "You would think she’d flee in fear, bunny hop away!  But obviously smitten, she kisses him instead.  It was one of the things on her list.  List!  Am I on her list?  How do I get on the list?"

Tattle points to the paragraph about the list, "Ah, yes, one of the many things she'd like to do before she dies, kiss the scarred stranger sent to..."  Tattle emulates Wrye's gesture.  "Risky is she?  You sure you want to be on that list?"

"Tavos wasn't there to do Grace harm, so it is said, but to protect her from her psychotic father, or was he? The father was recently released from prison...plot twist...and at the behest of a mysterious green-eyed woman, head of the relocation service Grace had contacted, Tavos had been solicited."

"Does green-eyed foreshadow jealousy?"  Flips over a few more pages.  "I know not, but she decides to take a stand against her father, and Tavos decides to help."  And the plot coagulates.

"By kidnapping her?"  Wrye looks incredulous.  Pulls cell phone out, it attached to a pigeon and enters 911, pigeon giggles, but Tattle persuades him to return the techno-bird back to his pocket.

"To keep her safe.  After all, Grace can be stubborn."  By now she realizes his Easter suit was that of a magician's.

"As her father, for he comes after her, but not before they...."  Wrye whispers into Tattle's ear, and wiggles brows.

Cooing, she again emulates his response.  "If this book got any hotter, it would smoke!"  Picks Wrye's pocket and uses a flapping pigeon to fan herself.

"Yup, smokin' with sensuality, suspense, and intrigue, a down-right page turner.  Weooo, away we go, hot, hot, hot!"

"Question is, just who will survive.  Was that shots I heard?"

"Let's leap so as not to give any more away!"

She returns the pigeon and grabs the chocolate bunny, noshes as they leap.




Their next hippity-hop leap takes them to FLAHERTY'S CROSSING by Kaylin McFarren, a woman's contemporary, where Tattle instantly blots at tear wet lashes.  "So sad...so very sad."

"We've entered the scene where Kate Flaherty's estranged father is dying," he whispers reverently, pulling a pocket handkerchief, he hands it to Tattle.  She takes it and unreels seventeen more attached to it.  Tattle shrugs a so-sorry.

They both stand at a respectful distance, and hear the father's bedside confession about his part in Kate's mother's death."  Has he foredoomed himself?  The plum of possibility sweetens.  "Do you have a dictionary in your bloomers?"  Wrye looks at Tattle's butt for big book protrusion, "You seem to be a smarty pants."

"Ouch!" Tattle says, "Add this on top of her marriage falling apart.  Her husband Drew mentioned something about separation!  Sword of Damocles moment!"  She looks at the bunny she is eating and wonders if her butt is huge-ing. Shrugs her shoulders and bites off a leg.

"Not good...not good at all."  Wrye leans over, fingering the book pages, to peer further into the story, tickling Tattle with his bunny ears.  "There is no lull in the suspense tonight, da da, on her way home, da da, there is, da da, a detour, da daaaaaa!"

Not realizing her lips are chocolate smeared, she garbles and drivels, "Read further along, it's not all bad, it gives her a chance to talk to a stranger, to think through some of her emotions about her marriage and herself, before she ends up fleeing for her life, searching for faith and forgiveness."  Using the wad of hankies, she towels her mess then tries to return the mass into his top pocket, leaving a uni-boob.

"Deer!"

"Huh?"  Tattle shakes her head.  "Oh, yes, she is a sweet dear, emotionally suppressed perhaps, artists can sometimes have greater depths of feelings."

"No, I meant...."  He points a few pages back, "There is a deer in the road and she is motoring straight for it."

Both read swiftly.  "Watch out!"   Reads more.  "She swerved!"

"She can't see anything but darkness!"  Reads further, "Oh no!"

"She's going to...."  Wrye holds a finger to Tattle's lips.  "Time to go."

"But...but...but!"  She is dragged into the vortex of literature.




"It's foggy in here," Tattle says, blowing at the white mist as they appear in HEATED DREAMS by Julie Grissom, an erotic fantasy/paranormal time-travel. (Carnal Passions Publication)  She egg-spected (Easter humor) the fog to be chilled but it was more steamy, thus foretelling.

"A dream," Wrye responds just before his jaw drops, eyes bulge, pulse races, and the bunny ears erect.

Tattle follows the direction of his glance, puts a hand to her chest oh so lady-like and grins oh so salaciously.  "Oh my, what are they doing?  Mmmm...oooohhh...ahhhhh!"  Was it lust?  Were they...?

The GQ of gentleman, Wrye covers Tattle's eyes, she peering through the gaps in his fingers, as he big-bunny-knows-better drags her to another page, "This is a private dream, wow it is, Tattle, m'gal."  At this point, he notes in his Blackberry the page number.

A door chimes as they arrive in Roxy's bookstore, which seems normal enough, but the air sizzles and sparks!  Foreshadow?  Maybe.  Foredoom?  Could be.  Foreplay?  Hopefully.

"That was Roxy's dream," Tattle says, as she notes in her Blackberry the afore page.  "And he..." points to the mega desirous male who had just entered, "...was in it.  She looks shocked.  Why?  Whereas, he looks likes his boots belong under my bed!"

"She is shocked.  Boots!!  She has only met Brett Sperry in her spicy dreams."  Wrye wonders if Dreamscape technology is available. Bites into a peanut butter egg, likes it, forgets about the dream.  Peanut butter tints the ponder of his knowledge of Roxy, "She had a disastrous unfulfilled marriage, drat, and thinks she is flawed, poor kitten, can't...errr..."  Flashes red face.

"What?"  Tattle asks, watching Wrye's strange expression, remembers Roxy's dilemma and goes, "Oh...the big O?"  She turns red faced.

Nods with the support of another bite, composure returns, "Brett takes an interest..."  Wrye straightens his ascot, in a manly act strokes his rabbit ears.  "In her...or...."  The red returns.  "He's from the 45th century, and is magical.  I guess they've matured and deal with that stuff."

Tattle tilts her head to check Brett out from behind.  "I'll say!  Magical!  He could make my randy disappear."  Catches herself and says, "What is he doing here?"  Starts searching for the pigeon again, flapping needed.

"His mission is to find a missing runaway VIP from his century and bring him back. The plot hardens in so many ways."  Wrye is so egg-centric. (Easter humor)  "But he can read Roxy's thoughts and finds them simultaneously stimulating and distracting...simultaneously...I'll repeat, simultaneously, 'nuff said!"

"Does he find the VIP?  Does she find her Oh YES, YES, YES!?  Just what does the future hold for these two who ignite passion across time?  Do you have any more peanut butter eggs?"

"Read and find out."  The bunny married the chicken and was the first rabbit to lay an egg was Wrye's final Easter thought.

With a hop and leap, they appear back in the office.



What a hoppin' good time!  Next month we'll spring forth with enthusiasm into TAKES A CHANCE by Eve Langlais coming June 2010, BOLT ACTION by Victoria Roder, and THE ENTRANCEMENT by Carolina Montague.
Happy Easter!

Dona Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq.
and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of Blather City, Wannachat