Thursday, March 11, 2010

CURIOUS By: Angelica Hart and Zi

By:  Angelica Hart and Zi

We question.

A man is an incubus... a woman is a succubus... therefore are angels, boogeymen, and tooth fairies exempt? If a mosquito bites you at night it is by definition a succubus and thus female? And what would you call someone who is of the transgender orientation? A transcubus? What about an asexual? Acubus? And does that A bus stop at B Street?

We question.

When I hear the expression peter out I react as if someone is flashing someone. Chester the Molester is in the park pulling open his trench coat. It is one of those phrases that engenders different reaction. Another is fire in the hole. I immediately think of a series of wrong thinking thoughts, a flame swallower's act gone badly, an enflamed STD, ejaculation, hemorrhoids, and amazing hot and promiscuous gal. All bad.. bad... bad thinking on my part. Expressions are imagination's fodder. Fit to the T... wet t-shirt contest. Holy Toledo... naughty Toledo. To pull strings... a mischievous lad eyeing a string bikini at the beach. Flash point... drink three... and flash tube... the top she lifts. Hard-and-fast... wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Wapper-jawed... well, my thoughts are so... well, I ain't going there. Phrases cause my mind to explode and sexplode.

We question.

If men are dogs then are women cats? Possibly. Thus the name puss and all it derivatives? Why don't women use their tongues to groom? Do they? My Grams licked her hand to fix my hair and her thumb to rub away a smudge. What else do they lick? And since cats can lick every part of their bodies why do they need men? Could a shaved cat be called a PPP. Discretion keeps me from defining the Ps. Write us and guess what we intended.

We question.

Here I sit all brokenhearted... paid a dime to poop but only farted. Where have all the pay-toilets gone? Why is Jack the nickname of John? Since we never call the privy Jack then are we always being formal? Why are there moons on out-houses and the biggest question is why did my granddad have a two-seater out-house. Who would have gone in together? Why? He and grandma... eeeesssh!

We question.

Why do runs in women's hosiery run up? A perverted function of the stitchery? A convoluted effort to provide some pleasure at a time of frustration? Because everything else runs down their legs? Oh, smack my wrist... I was a naughty boy. He-he-he.

We question.

If the male part of the body, and we know to what Angelica is referencing, is called a wiener must we in order to not offend qualify by referring to it as a Ball Park wiener. They plump when they cook them. Thus continuing the point that all men are not just dogs but wiener dogs. And then what is meant when someone is weaned off something? Interesting? Sick? Angelica wrote this. Complain to her. Please!

We question... why... because we do.

As we sat to write KILLER DOLLS and SNAKE DANCE we discussed the heroes' motivations, we questioned what would scare them. The thoughts scared us. We went heart-ripper. Neither are your grandmother's traditional reads. Read!

We'd love to hear from anyone interested in what we do. Anyone who writes us at and leaves an s-mail address, we will send you a gift and add you to any future mailings.

Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS ~ September 2009
SNAKE DANCE ~ February 2010

KILLER DOLLS and SNAKE DANCE can be purchased at
Champagne Books



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