FROM THE DESK OF
DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.
AND
ASSOCIATE WRYE BALDERDASH
Greetings,
Dressed in an old-fashioned rose patterned dress with a sprig of violets sticking up out of her hair, laced high top leather high heels double bowed, Tattle waltzes into the office singing, “Love is in the air everywhere I look around…”
Wrye stares with the triple O-look, eyes and mouth. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Voice lessons m'friend. Tattle's tone is askew.”
“Au contraire, m’Travelbud. I am simply celebrating our book tour within the month of Valentines highlighted by romance.”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Love of Literature Leap. Then let us do the do.” Elbow out, arm proffered. Tattle takes it and off they leap!
Tattle smiles an ooohhh ahhh smile as she looks up at a castle. “How utterly beautiful, which is the perfect background for the paranormal romance THIS TIME YOU ARE MINE by SUZANNAH SAFI."
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. A time journey love story. Written just for you,” Wrye offers, thinking himself in the Valentine zone as he looks upon the characters who are in a yummy embrace. “Ah, now that is quite a quixotic kiss! Color me red for passion!” Those words are quickly followed by ut oh as he watches Mac tear himself free from Miranda Blair, looking devastated. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Captivating drama. Mac plans an adieu.”
“Aye, a dilemma indeed. They are instantly drawn to each other, however, Miranda writes about mystifying deaths and plans on writing a book about the death of a child, Marcas Wardlaw. Morass? Entanglement? The investigation triggers visions, ooooh, which brings her to Wardlaw Castle in Scotland and Mac, the Wardlaw’s nephew. The plot moistens. Mac doesn’t want this book written. Contention! And he might just do anything to keep that from happening. What, what, what? And he has secrets!"
The wind whistles, "Weoooooo." Is there haunt in the air?
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Mystery abounds. Mac has visions, too!” Wrye tips his top hat, it rolls off his head, along his arm and into his hand, and with a tadaaa offers his revelation, having checked pages ahead, “Reincarnation! Mac and Miranda are Rose and Duncan who loved, lost each other centuries earlier, and are now revisiting that love. Tears follow!”
“Aye! Only the loss ended with Rose being buried alive. I remember Poe's taphophobia, the fear in The Fall of the House of Usher. Duncan vowed revenge. Good for him!” Tattle places a sprig of violets in Wrye’s lapel before adding. “Well, in the present, Mac and Miranda begin to fall in love, amidst much sizzle and spark. But all is not roses and violets, go figure, Mac’s uncle tries to destroy them for money. Creep! And I’m not going to spoil just what goes on with Mac’s parents.”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Spill your secret. Telling me is poo-poo?”
“Aye, aye, m’Poet a' large.” She gives him a friendly push. “Leap!”
“In space, no one can hear you scream," announces Tattle, foreshadowing where they landed. “We're in K. M. TOLAN'S science fiction ROGUE DANCER.”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. BLADE DANCER came first. This is book two.”
“Ah, yes, Mikial Haran is back, a savior of her people, previously chosen to defend them from potential human encroachment that did not happen. Heroine in waiting? Mikial discovers Suria has undermined her. Does this foredoom? Suria continues to discredit Mikial, hence the rising belief she’s not the savior might get her arrested. This smacks of treachery! To make things complicated, to avoid civil war, she places herself under the shield of the most powerful of the Qurl Holdings, the Holding of Kinset. However, to tangle the woes, she is accused of murder and flees Kinset. Oh, what a muddled web has been woven.”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Trouble is brewing. Whatcha to do?” Wrye skims a chapter or two. “Listen to this, while trying to recoup, she has a vision. Prophecy? The mental mirage is that of a spaceship arriving in the desert at the ruins of an ancient civil war." Reads and then sing-songs, "Roses are red. Violets are blue. She gathers together,,,an unlikely crew.”
“So true, m’Blooming friend, and she plans on using the White Spear, a gruesome ancient weapon to destroy the trespasser. Only all is not what it appears. Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Tattle do you see? A bit of romance, too?”
“Naughty? Risky? Steamy? True? Plus so much more. This fast-paced story takes us from fierce combat to ruins to cascading waterfalls, spanning emotions, testing friendships, and the understanding that a repeat of history foretells a disastrous future. Quell the beat of my now aerobic heart.”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. This sounds so good. Give us another clue.”
“No more for you, Wrye m’Scribe. One more book awaits for leaping sake!”
“Ah, this geography is quite familiar, don’t ya think?” Tattle crouches, fear encroaching her demeanor.
Looking at the pages and the fabulous cover, he croons, “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Quite talented authors...for certain these two.”
“Being such dear close friends we are a bit biased, but it does allow us to know all about the sci-fi/fantasy romance SNAKE DANCE by ANGELICA HART AND ZI." Preening with pride. "Romance will boil on the planet Starling where a complex race of three sects live in an authoritarian system. Elitists of a beastly nature, the Kin, control the stunning and exotic females with the Kiss of Surrender. Vanquished to the outlands, statuesque males of the Asp line are hunted and killed by the vile Kin.” She pulls four or five reeds, places them in her headband to camouflage herself from the Kin.
Realizing he's only armed with a box of chocolates, Wrye wonders does he push his thumb in or bite to see which is which. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Two enemies will be courting...the same rare ingénue." He bites. Finds a nougat. Rejects the flavor and puts half back.
"The feel of a unique milieu tints this world in which the status quo has gone unchallenged until the birth of wRen. She of extraordinary allure has been blessed by healing song and the rare ability to fly. The Kin, Mong, claimed the rights to her innocence. wRen refuses to accept the dictates of an enslaved society despite that Mong is of exalted status." Hunched behind Wrye, Tattle slips her hand into the chocolate box. (Comfort food).
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Enter stage left. Give VeIper his cue." Wrye notices Tattle's hand, hopes she grabs the half nougat. "Of the Asp clan, he was built as a mighty man, brawn seductive, his attitude the harbinger of revolution.”
Thinking of VeIper and acting dreamy, though it may have been the chocolate, she says, “Bewitchment is in the air. VeIper will be instantly drawn to wRen. Lucky! And she to him, braving the lethal legends of the Asp. Dangerous bravery! While he, fully awed by her, seeks to free his species from ethnic cleansing.” She reaches for another chocolate.
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. wRen and VeIper’s...love is taboo.” He thumbs the bottom of the heart shaped box to rap out a beat along with his da da da daaaaa. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Look out for Mong. And his brother, Mont, too. They have vowed to destroy those of VeIper’s kind, and have fully enslaved feral women called wohen in a cave of atrocities.” Wrye's face grows cold with anger.
“VeIper’s attempt to rescue them, brings him to death’s abyss. His slim chance of survival resides in wRen’s promise to surrender to Mong willingly. At the same time, the lives of every Kin, Asp and wohen rest in the forthcoming measures taken by wRen and VeIper and wrapped in this are their stolen sensual moments.”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Peril's blood claws...are poised for the two.” Wrye's right hand balls in a fist as if he's prepared to fight.
“What will they do?”
“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Our leap is ending. We’re not gonna tell you!”
“In other words…our dear friends…READ!”
And off they leapt back to the office, Tattle leaving a trail of petals and reeds behind her, chasing the box of chocolates.
Hope you enjoyed! Next month an Irish toast to A STRUCTURED AFFAIR by CAROL MCPHEE, ONCE AN OUTCAST by JANE TOOMBS, and MORTAL COIL by JULIE EBERHART PAINTER.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all!
Dona Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq.
and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of Blather City, Wannachat
Created and written by
Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS ~ September 2009
SNAKE DANCE ~ February 2010
CHASING GRAVITAS (working title) ~ July 2010
Champagne Books
