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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Tattle and Wrye column March 2013 edition

FROM THE DESK OF
DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.
AND
ASSOCIATE WRYE BALDERDASH

Greetings,

Tattle arrives in her version of a superhero costume.  Red cape, princess hat, roller sneakers and an ST (Super Tattle) embroidered on her jumper.  Picture this!  (Holds hands up as if framing a photo)

Wrye looks at her hands. "Ummm...what?"

"You're in an airplane hurling toward the earth, total nosedive...."

Wrye clears his throat, interrupting, "Are you in the plane, too?"

(Makes a wrinkled-up nose face)  "No way, I'd be hurling."

"Too much info!  Besides, we don't have time for flying.  We are about to take our Love of Literature Leap into a review of THE LESSON by JOYCE WARD."

"Oooh," Tattle peeks over his shoulder.  "Oh yes, this was indeed a super read.  Just like her.  Just like her story.  Just like me when I rescue your plane about to crash into the earth."

"You don't have superpowers."

"Hmmm, guess you wouldn't make it then, huh?"  A considering look develops and she holds up her fingers again, framing Wrye.  "Your next life, wings or horns...."

"What?"

"Never mind, let's just tell our readers about THE LESSON!" 

"Cue Twilight Zone music with a sprinkling of the Night Gallery themes and," Wrye snaps a finger.  "Ta da!  THE LESSON is ready for your nail biting experience."

Tattle's costume morphs into black on black attire, her voice turns eerie and the surroundings turn to black and white.  "When Pamela Tripp's favorite Uncle Mack dies at just forty-eight years old, Pam experiences her second dose of emotional battering.  Her father had died not that long ago, and since then her behavior had become bitter..."  Screw her face up as if she ate a lemon.  "And brittle.  Meanwhile, her mother had become the epitome of cookie cutter perfection and the two personalities clash like symphonic cymbals."

Wrye interrupts, "At the Mason and Sons Mortuary, Mrs. Tripp is not pleased to see her daughter's punkish look, her artistic boyfriend, Kevin, or that they are as high as a supersonic airplane.  Of course, smoking marijuana, is how Pam has been coping."

"A confrontation is inevitable, and Pam would have dashed out the exit except for a desperate need to pee and her inability to pass up plucking, from a florist's bouquet, her favorite flower, a green cymbidium orchid."  Tattle snares an orchid out of the air and inhales deeply.

As he finger drums the Hitchcock theme song, Wrye adds, "The assistant director, Philip, gives them both a dressing down, but perhaps feeling pity, directs her to the less crowded bathrooms on the lower level, adding a warning to avoid the construction area."

"Her amorous, misguided and curious boyfriend trashes the embalming room, and then does the exact opposite of what Philips warned against.  Disobeying the sign, Caution.  Enter at your own risk, he drags Pam through a door.  Hence begins the real tale, down a dark, creepy path that pushes the boundaries of sanity and astonishing possibilities."

If there had been a camera, Wrye would have leaned into it.  "Be prepared to hold your breath and feel your skin crawl from page one to the end.  Joyce Ward captures the emotional turmoil of a troubled young woman in mourning with realistic intensity. At the same time, you find yourself part of the story, part of the character yet want desperately to guide Pam out of her self-perpetuating problems.  Yet, you will find yourself as trapped as the character, only your entrapment is by Joyce's intoxicating prose."

Tattle pretends to take a microphone from Wrye, taps it for sounds.  "Joyce's writing draws you in like a spidery web with just a tickle of traumatic promise.  Soon enough, though, you are enmeshed in a cocoon of devilment, confusion and apprehension.  Each page brings you closer to the unexpected as your pulse increases and your fear evolves.  If you like a ride into the twisted macabre, read THE LESSON.  But be warned, you will read it in one sitting and, for your own safety, have plenty of light!"

"We can't wait to read more by this new author with a fresh voice birthed from a yesteryear formula."


Hope you enjoyed our leap into our review of THE LESSON by JOYCE WARD.  Until next time, keep reading!

Dona Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq. and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of Blather City, Wannachat

Created and written by:  Angelica Hart and Zi

Books by: Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS ~ SNAKE DANCE ~
CHASING YESTERDAY ~ CHRISTMAS EVE...VIL
Books by: Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
STEEL EMBRACE
BOOK NOOKIE-A LIBRARIAN'S BUIDE TO THE DO-ME DECIMAL SYSTEM
angelicahartandzi.com




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